Ep.15: Going To Therapy
This week, we will go a little more personal and talk about some misconceptions about psychotherapy and my experience with it!
Also, you can find the vocabulary and comprehension quiz under the transcription!
(Česky: Najdete seznam slovíček a krátký kvíz porozumění pod přepisem)
Link for the episode:
WRITTEN TRANSCRIPTION OF THE PODCAST:
Hello and welcome to my podcast My Life and Other Funny Stories. My name is Dagmar Tomášková, I am an English tutor and I created this podcast for students at intermediate and upper intermediate levels who want to get better in their oral comprehension. As always you can find the transcription of this episode, comprehension quiz, and vocabulary list in the notes of the podcast.
Last week, I talked about English so this week I am going to balance it with something more personal but I think something very important and that is "going to therapy". This episode might be a little more difficult when it comes to language and vocabulary, so I recommend checking out the transcription and vocabulary list. And don't feel sad if you don't understand that well, I know it is a more challenging episode. So thank you for being here!
I think that therapy is a topic that can be a little controversial sometimes because even though our society is changing - and in Western countries, it is a very common thing to go to therapy- here in the Czech Republic it is still misunderstood.
If you don't know how therapy works, you usually meet with your therapist once a week or so and talk about different topics.
I started therapy after I came back from my Erasmus - if you listened to my first three episodes, you know I talked about the fact that it was quite difficult for me and sometimes I didn't feel mentally really well. So I decided to start therapy as soon as possible- unfortunately, if you want to start, you usually need to wait for a few months before they can take you because they don't have a capacity.
During the time I was visiting therapy, I was slowly recognizing - slowly seeing- that some things that people think about therapy are not simply true.
So today, I would like to look at some common misconceptions- misunderstandings- about therapy while injecting my own experience into it.
Misconception number one is that people think that when you can go to therapy, you have to be mentally ill or a very weak person. That is not true at all. Because at therapy, you don't talk only about some illness, but very usually you talk about your problems such as lack of confidence or anxiety, work, relationships, and overall everyday life.
Usually, these things stay hidden in our heads. But talking about it out loud and getting a new perspective on the problem, is something extremely valuable. You can rationalize your own emotions and then you realize that what you feel is absolutely normal. A therapist also offers you ways to deal with your hard moments or can help you come to some decisions you wouldn't be able to see. It happened to me many times that I was talking about some issues and then I saw that some things have been a bigger problem for me than I thought. And then it was easier for me to act in a way so that I would solve this problem.
Honestly, it is the biggest form of reflecting on your personality and behaviour - and it is extremely uncomfortable sometimes. But I would recommend therapy to absolutely everyone. I think that it is the opposite of being weak since it is sometimes very hard, uncomfortable and you have to swallow your pride and put a lot of effort into improving yourself.
Misconception number two is that the therapist will tell you what to do. Let's be honest, sometimes you sit on a fence (= you cannot decide something) about something and you don't know what to do. But if you come to therapy and ask "What should I do?", rarely will the therapist give you a clear response. That is not what they are there to do. They are there to find what YOU want to DO. What YOU think you should do. Through a series of questions, they will navigate you through your chaotic mind and in the end, you will probably see a way out of the situation - but not because they told you what the solution is, but because they helped you to find it. The work was still on you.
Misconception number three is that you can come to one session and all your problems will be gone. It is the same as when a person comes to me that they want to improve their English but they would like to do it during one conversation lesson - not possible. Therapy is not effective immediately and sometimes it can be extremely frustrating and unrewarding but it is part of the process. Not only it takes time to build trust with your therapist, usually, your problems are not just superficial- they go far into the past, and uncovering it takes a lot of time. Just like in everything. Even learning a language.
Misconception number four- you always feel better after a therapy session. This is what I believed to be true before I started therapy. Well, sometimes it is the complete opposite. You can feel emotionally exhausted, physically tired or even just sad. Talking about your darkest or deepest feelings is something so difficult, I rarely walked out of the therapist's office with a smile on my face. But that's again because uncovering these unpleasant realities of my own past is now always cheerful. So it is completely normal just to go home and go lay in bed. You probably need it. You might not feel better immediately but with time and effort, it will be all worth it.
Misconception number five- therapy is just talking and talking. I also thought this one to be true. And a majority of the time, it is. But there are times when you discover something heartbreaking or something you need to think about a little. It is then completely normal to just sit in silence together and let it sink in. Or, that is not in my experience, you might experience therapy where the therapist can show you some relaxing techniques and you can practice together. The only thing similar to this in my experience was when my therapist showed me how I should massage my jaw ( jaw is the lower part of your face below your mouth) since I have a tendency to flex it when I am stressed and then I am in pain and it goes into my head and I have a headache.
Misconception number six - if you don't like the therapist, you are the problem. Of course, that is not true. Therapist, even though a professional, is still a human. And you still need to find a connection on the basic human level to be able to connect and share your thoughts. It might get frustrating when you wait for a long time and then you try the first session, and it doesn't feel right, but just say that it is not for you and keep on looking. You will find someone who will be good for you!
I was visiting therapy sessions for over a year, almost every week and I feel like it helped me to improve so much as a person. I have a few things that I have learned and I hold them very close to my heart every day, but I will share those in some other episodes. I hold my mental health just as high as my physical health and if you go to the gym and try to eat a balanced diet, you should also find ways to take care of your mental health - through therapy or other wayS (therapy is not the only way).
If you think you want to try therapy but feel like you "are not ill" to go or that other people would look at you like you are a crazy person, keep in mind what I told you today. Therapy is not a miracle, it won't magically solve all your problems, but it will help you in your life so much. And if you don't want to go to therapy, that's perfectly fine as well! Just don't judge the ones that do.
I hope you learned some new information as well as practiced your listening skills today! Thank you so much for listening to this episode and don't forget that you can find the transcription, vocabulary list, and comprehension quiz in the notes. Please please give this podcast a five stars rating on the platform that you are listening to this, since it's the only way for me to get feedback and making these episodes takes me a lot of time.
Have a lovely day and I will see you very soon, bye, bye!
VOCABULARY LIST:
Controversial - kontroverzní
Therapist -psycholog
Recognising - rozpoznávání
Misconceptions - mylné představy
Injecting - vsunovat/ zahrnovat
Weak - slabý
Lack of confidence - nedostatek sebevědomí
Anxiety - úzkost
Hidden- schovaný
Out loud - nahlas
Valuable - cenný
Offer - nabídnout
Issues - problémy
Reflecting- reflektovat/ uvažovat nad něčím
Swallow your pride - polknout pýchu
Effort - snaha, úsilí
Sit on a fence - být nerozhodný
Rarely - vzácně/ málokdy
Navigate - provázat, navigovat
Immediately - okamžitě
Unrewarding - bez odměny
superficial - povrchový
Exhausted - vyčerpaný
Deepest - nejhlubší
Unpleasant realities - nepříjemná fakta/ nepříjemná realita
It will be all worth it - vše bude stát za to
Discover - objevit
Heartbreaking - srdcervoucí
silence - ticho
Relaxing techniques - relaxační techniky
Jaw - čelist
pain - bolest
headache - bolest hlavy
Frustrating - frustrující
Share - sdílet
Miracle- zázrak
Judge- soudit
